no i won't back down...

well i did it, i signed up for the half marathon in september. after forking over my 75 buckaroos, there is no turning back now. i had to do this to make sure i was serious about my training. i have only 3.5 months til i have to run this 13.1 mile distance.

if you are into racing, you will know what this all means to me. i don't get nervous about lots of things but i get knots in my stomach before races like this. i get antsy and pissy. i want to just get started the day of the race.

sometimes people will ask me "well how long is this marathon" - and well i get taken aback b/c the length of a marathon never changes - it is always 26.2 miles. and the half is always 13.1 miles. you might not thing that 0.1 or 0.2 miles matters but it does especially if you are at the point when your body is about to give out. i have come close to passing out the last 0.1 miles.

but i am doing this for me. so that i can get back into some sort of shape. i miss the days i would go run 22 miles, shower, then play flag football for 2 hours and soccer for 1.5 hours the next day. those days are long behind me.

but during my runs, i have to be extra careful b/c of this:

i found this photo the other day while cleaning out a drawer. this was from 9 years ago (Feb to be exact) when i played a fateful soccer game and tore a bunch of ligaments in my ankle - was out of work and on crutches.

if i only knew then what i know now. my ankle haunts me. i was thinking about this the other day. i will never be 100% on that ankle. and i probably won't be even 80% ever. i think about my ankle each time i run b/c i have the tendency to twist my ankle if i don't watch how i land.

don't get me wrong, i have run my fastest times ever even with this ankle but i know and have been told that one day i might need to get that puppy fixed. i am cool with that. there is no need for me to live in fear. i am not one to live in fear. so til that day comes, i will make do with what i have. life is too short to sweat it.

and with that my goal for is set. i will get up that day. i will get antsy. i will be wearing my funny looking running shorts that have all the pockets in the butt side and they will be filled with runner's energy packs. and with God's grace, i will run my half marathon in a really slow time. and baby noah and david will be cheering me on. then i will finish and we will celebrate by going to the beach.