Friday, July 07, 2006

late night ramblings...

...well i am blogging at 1 am central time b/c my MIL has been kind enough to volunteer to watch noah tonight so i can get some Maya Road work done. it is weird b/c i haven't stayed up this late in almost 6 weeks since noah arrived.

... i have a confession to make - today i was trying to calm noah down as sometimes he gets excited and fussy at the same time and i put him in what i call the "magical swing" b/c i know if i leave him there for 5 mins, he will start to fall asleep... as i watched my baby in the swing from about 10 ft away, i watched him calm down and start to sit quietly - almost like a little old man on a porch swing - just swinging away... he looked almost serious. it was at that moment, i felt guilt - guilt that i had a list a mile long of things i had to get done today for Maya Road; i felt guilt b/c i had put him in the swing to calm him down rather than hold him all afternoon. i wish i could have but i could not.

in ways i am lucky, i am back at work, yes but i can choose my hours on most days for now. if i need to make a stop at the warehouse, i can take noah with me. if i am out and about, we can start using the baby bjorn carrier that i have bought. when we go for CHA, noah is coming along too - though he won't be at the show the entire time...

but that doesn't take away that guilt that i sometimes find creeping up on me. honestly i know that having him in the swing is fine - from a rational perspective, i can see that but from an emotional mom perspective, i wish i had more time to give to him. so i think we are going to take some days off after the show - we have earned it. and then we can have lots of together time...

7 Comments:

At 7/07/2006 09:06:00 AM, Blogger Shirley said...

You need to do what you need to do! The rest will fall into place.

 
At 7/07/2006 11:36:00 AM, Blogger Melissa said...

Dont feel guilty about putting him in the swing - obviously it makes him happy too!

That tin and the chippie looks awesome! So how long now until we see some rubons? LOL

 
At 7/07/2006 12:12:00 PM, Anonymous elia said...

I think you're a wonderful mom and Noah certainly looks happy. Yeah for taking a little time after CHA to spend together.

 
At 7/07/2006 02:50:00 PM, Blogger Carmen said...

Don't feel guilt!! That is not right!! If he enjoys the swing and it allows you to get done a few things, use it!! There will come a day when the swing won't cut it anymore!! Take these little tidbits while you can!!

 
At 7/08/2006 02:20:00 AM, Blogger Sue said...

Caroline, when you become a mother, I think guilt come with the package, along with the big boobs and the temporary memory lapses (okay, maybe they're more than temporary at times...).
My point is that we need to do what's right for our families and businesses. Don't sweat it! I know it's easier said than done, but you'll eventually learn to let go of the guilt... :D

 
At 7/08/2006 02:56:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

both my kids did a LOT of swing time, and two of three of my sister's kids did....they are all just fine!! heck, i wish i had an adult-sized swing sometime. ;)

 
At 7/09/2006 05:55:00 PM, Anonymous Ranjini Malhotra said...

Caroline - I put Alekha in the swing too to calm her down when I just *had* to get things done. Don't stress about it. Just enjoy your baby and being a new mom - do what you have to do and don't feel guilty - you are doing fantastic!
Ranjini

 

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